I know I mentioned in my last post that I had a situation that had been causing turmoil in my family for over 6 months. I would love to say that the situation is resolved, but the truth is it isn’t and although I am taking steps to try and do what I can on my part, most of the stuff going on is completely out of my control. It is so hard to watch your children and people you care about be hurt and know that there is really not much that you can do about it. It is even harder when you are the only parent and the only one they have to go to and often that hurt gets taken out on you. I have just been tired more than I can say.
So yesterday, as I try to do every Friday during the winter season, I take a couple hours for myself and do one of the things I most enjoy doing and that is go snowboarding. Usually, during the hr or so that I am there, my phone goes off constantly, I try to ignore what I can and just relax and sometimes that works and sometimes it doesn’t but yesterday, yesterday was different. I was at the mountain for 3 hours. And in that time, not one text about this current struggle came through. Not only that, but as I put on my music it seemed like God had a playlist in mind for me to listen to. I usually have a certain playlist of songs I listen to while I snowboard, but God just seemed to stop it on songs I never listen to snowboarding. Not only was it one of the most peaceful times I had ever had, but one where I really felt like it was just God and I on the mountain.
One of the songs that came up was “Word of God speak” by Kutless
There is a line in the song that says ” ...to be still in know, that your in this place….” It was strange but as I heard those words yesterday, they had a very different meaning to me. It was like God was saying to me, you know that I am in this place right, not “place” in the sense that I am here with you snowboarding on this mountain, which of course I am but, place as in the hard place I have you in right now, this situation that you are fed up with, this circumstance that you just want to go away…I am in that place. I am there, I am with you, I know you don’t see it, I know you don’t understand it , I know you can’t feel it, BUT I am here, so be still.
I always said if ever I was to get a tattoo, it would say “…Be Still…” God uses those words to speak to me so very often. And when I stopped and thought about the verses I had posted prior to this yesterday morning, that phrase was right in there….
God NEVER ceases to amaze me, He never ceases to show up when we take the time to be still before Him and He is there even when we don’t take the time to listen. Now, I wish I could say I saw an end in sight to this situation, I don’t, I wish I could say the rest of my day was peaceful but as soon as I got in the car to leave, there came the texts but I KNOW that God gave me those 3 hours of peace and stillness to connect with Him, to hear from Him , and to be strengthened by Him to keep going and not give up hope. What an awesome God we serve. While I know that tough days are still ahead, I know that God is in this place with me and He will act, I just need to trust Him and Be Still!