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Yesterday I had something amazing happen. Writing about it, I feel won’t do justice to this event, but, still it is just one of those small things that God does to remind us He hears us, He sees us, and He loves us. Last week was a bit of nightmare around my house. One kid tested positive for covid, one refused to come home because of that and was living out of hotels and friends houses. I had little sleep and things have just been crazy with working full time, plus managing a side business and taking care of the house. Yesterday, I was getting ready for work and I was rushing because I was running late. As I ran out the door and got down the road, I realized I had forgotten my apple that I was planning to bring to eat. I was upset because I had no time to go back for it I said, Lord, I really wanted an apple. Why am I so forgetful!

Now each Sunday we have a break in between services and we have snacks in our break room. There is always a bowl with some fruit, but it is ALWAYS little oranges and bananas. I mean always! I’ve worked at this job for 7 years, and for 7 years it has been oranges and bananas. I just want you to grasp this truth, lol. Yesterday as I walked late into the break room after finishing a few things up, I walked by the bowl of fruit and there in the middle of the oranges and bananas was 1 apple. Literally just 1 apple. I picked it up and looked at a few of my volunteers and told them the story. I said, I can’t believe this! There is actual an apple here, 1 apple! One of the volunteers said God put that apple there for you! And you know what, I know he did.

Many times when we are going through hard times we forget that God sees us and hears us. We feel alone. But God has a way of showing up even in the smallest way that means so much. I would have made it through the day without an apple, I could have eaten something else, but God knew I wanted an apple and he provided it for me. It reminded me that He loves me and that He cares about even the smallest things in my life. This isn’t the first time that God has done something like this for me. I have had other instances where he has provided something very specific and personal at just the right time.

Often we are so focused on the big issues and problems in our lives that we don’t notice those little things that God does for us day in and day out. That apple might not have changed anything in my current circumstances, but it certainly got my eyes off of them and onto God and his total and complete care for me and my life. Our God is a BIG God, but he is also God of the little things. Everything is under his care and He loves us with a love we can’t really comprehend. That apple served as a reminder for me, and every time I see an apple now I will remember that God hears me, sees me, and cares about the smallest things in my life. Thank you Lord for your great care for us. Thank you for the small things!

Doubt, it is one of those things we all deal with. At times, it plagues us more than others. When we have spent years staring down a list of unanswered prayers, doubt can creep in more and more. I recently started a devotional talking about casting doubt aside. One of the stories spoken of was the one of Abraham and Sarah. It talked about how Sarah laughed when she heard the angel tell Abraham that next year she would have a child.

‘Then the Lord said to Abraham, “Why did Sarah laugh and say,’will I really have a child, now that I am old?’ Is there anything too hard for the Lord? I will return to you at the appointed time next year and Sarah will have a son” Genesis 18:13-14

We know that Abraham had been promised a son by the Lord many many years before(Genesis 15) We know that he and Sarah tried to take things into their own hands and bring about this promise on their own(Genesis 16) But here we read that after years of waiting, when Abraham and Sarah were both old then the promise was to be fulfilled. Is anything too hard for the Lord? This is the question that the angel asked Abraham and the challenge given by the author of the devotional to think of things that we feel are impossible and pray knowing nothing is too hard for God.

As I began thinking about this, I remembered many years ago I had done something similar. I had written out all the things at the time that I felt were impossible for God and said, Lord, this is not too hard for you. Now, I would have to search through years of journals to find that, but there is one thing on there that I knew I had prayed for that was not answered the way I asked for it. As I thought about that and wrote out my thoughts, I was reminded that nothing is impossible to God, but, that doesn’t mean that his answering the way we ask is what is best. Doubts creep in when we forget that while God is able to do the impossible, God is God and He is sovereign and he knows what we do not. His timing is perfect, just as it was for Abraham and Sarah. We get impatient, we want change now. As I wrote my list, there were a few things I have been praying about for many years. Things that seem to get worse not better. In that moment, I had to say Lord, I don’t understand but I trust you and your timing.

As I was driving to work that morning, the sky was filled with dark storm clouds, however, just at the horizon, where the sun was coming up, the sky was clear. The sun was bursting through that small area of cloudless sky just at the horizon. It was a reminder to me, a reminder that where I look matters, especially when it comes to facing doubt. The problems and impossible circumstances in our lives feel like dark clouds. When we look at them, that’s all we see. But when we look to the horizon, when we keep our eyes on our savior, it is like the sun breaking through the clouds. While as the sun rises it may end up behind those dark clouds, we know it is still there, at work, providing warmth to the earth. It is no different in our lives. Dark clouds may surround us and we may not see the Lord at work, but we know that He is always working always doing millions of things in our lives that we are never aware of. Lord, help us to keep our eyes on the horizon, to see the light of your presence breaking through the dark clouds of doubt. Remind us Lord that you are always at work, even when we can’t see it.

Another year is done. It seems each one goes by just a little faster than the last. Most of us spend time reflecting as these last few days of the year go by. Yesterday as I was driving in the car with my son he asked me how I felt about 2022, what kind of year was it. As I thought about his question, I was reminded of a blog post I wrote back in May called There are Beautiful Days I told him a bit about the post and said that is how I feel about this past year. Overall, the year was rough. Like most of us, I can’t wait to see it go. So many hard days, trying times, heartache, losses, and stress. Honestly, if it wasn’t for Jesus, I really question if I would have made it through in one piece. However, when I look back through my camera roll and think about some of the things we did this past year, and think about the people who stood by me, walked with me, prayed for me, and helped me through, that phrase returns to my mind, there are beautiful days.

As we head into the new year many of us look with hope and expectation to what a new year can mean. A fresh start, new hope, new beginnings. We also tend to look back at the last year with a sense of good riddance. There is nothing wrong with either of those feelings, but as I was reading through a devotion I am doing on the Psalms, my attention was brought to the Psalms of lament. There are so many amazing psalms where the author pours his heart out to God and cries out for help. To me these Psalms are a great example of how to respond as we head into a new year. There is a pattern to these Psalms, the author tells God how he feels, with honestly and truth. (I mean God already knows how we feel, why is it that we think we should try to pretend otherwise when we cry out to him?) Then he presents his needs, cares, and concerns to God. (After all, He is the only one who can change the unchangeable and do the impossible.) But after all that, after the crying, after the weeping, after the pleading, the psalmist refocuses. He speaks truth to himself. He worships, He says this is how I feel, this is what I need but, none of that matters in comparison to you God. I will praise you because you are worthy, I will worship you because you are my God. I trust you Lord, you have been so good to me! Psalm 13 is a great example of this,

Psalm 13 NIV

For the director of music. A psalm of David.

“How long, Lord? Will you forget me forever?

How long will you hide your face from me?

How long must I wrestle with my thoughts

and day after day have sorrow in my heart?

How long will my enemy triumph over me?

Look on me and answer, Lord my God.

Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death,

and my enemy will say, “I have overcome him,”

and my foes will rejoice when I fall.

But I trust in your unfailing love;

my heart rejoices in your salvation.

I will sing the Lord’s praise,

for he has been good to me.”

I love this Psalm, it is so real and raw. David cries out to God honestly, he doesn’t hold back. God can handle our sorrow, our frustration, our anger, our disappointment. He already knows what we are thinking and feeling, praying like this gives us the chance to give voice to it. God invites us to come to him. What I love most is that in the end David doesn’t leave with the same misery he started out with, he leaves with hope. He leaves with truth, he leaves with the knowledge that God is God and he is not and that he will praise and worship God and trust in Him because His love is unfailing, His promises are true, and He has been so good to him.

As we approach this new year, we can cry for the things that we carry into this new year, we can weep over the hurts of last year but then we leave them with God and refocus our minds on the truth. God is God eternal, He doesn’t get tired, He doesn’t sleep, He created each of us uniquely and knows everything about us. He loves us with a never-ending love. He loved us so much that He sent His son to live for us, die for us, and rise again conquering sin and death so that we could have a relationship with Him. We can trust every moment to Him because He is faithful. I read this great quote this morning and I thought it is a perfect reminder as we say goodbye to this year.

“Leave the irreparable past in His hands, and step into the Irresistible Future with Him.” Oswald Chambers

Let’s do just that! Praying a blessed New Year to each of you!

Here we are again, another Thanksgiving in the books and our journey to Christmas has begun. For most of us, this season brings a lot chaos. There is far too much to do and get done and far too few hours to do it in. We rush from one thing to the next, one store to the next, one house to the next to try to create the perfect peaceful holiday. I am laughing as I typed that, because most of us are thinking, there is nothing peaceful about the holiday season. Why is that, is it maybe because we are trying to find peace someplace that it can not be found? Is it because we have lost sight of where true hope is really found?

My life has been in a very hard place as of late. It has taken a toll on me and I have felt far too tired and far too weary. There are some very difficult things in my life that are very trying, very hurtful, very much beyond my control, and nothing that is going away anytime soon without a miraculous touch from God. So as thanksgiving was approaching, I decided to focus my devotion time on being thankful. I sought out a couple of good Thanksgiving devotions and prayed for God to help me see what He wanted me to see.

Like many of us, especially as mothers, and even more so as single moms, our days start with awaking in a frantic panic of what the day expects of us. I usually immediately pray when that starts to happen. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that, but as I read through the first of my Thanksgiving devotions, the author, Sue Boldt, started with a challenge. To surrender, to give ourselves to Jesus, to place ourselves in the loving arms of our savior where life is truly found. She challenged to put everything else aside, to focus solely on Jesus, worshipping and thanking him before we did anything else. What would our day look like if the first words out of our mouth each morning were words of praise and thanksgiving and gratitude to our savior? What would happen if instead of awaking and crying out Jesus help me followed by a laundry list of things we need him to do today, we took a minute to come into his presence with gratefulness for who he is and what he has done. Psalm 100:4 tells us

“Enter his gates with thanksgiving, and his courts with praise! Give thanks to him; bless his name!”

What if we did just that, entered into his courts with praise and dancing and singing instead of just dragging in our bags of problems.

As Sue put it in the devotion “Even when life has its darkest tragedies and trials, what might out lives be like if we worshipped at His footstool because His compassion never fails and His mercies are new every morning? “ -Sue Boldt A Week Full of Thanksgiving-Youversion

As this week of devotions went on Sue highlighted how gratitude and praise changes our perspective. It puts us in a position to hear from God, to see him work and move in our hearts. Surrendering our lives to Jesus means letting go and trusting His handling of both the big and small details of our lives. Gratefulness can be the gauge by which we see where we are at. Someone once said that worry is believe that God won’t get it right. When we begin to move past trying to control everything ourselves, when we move to gratitude, we can then clearly see who God is. We can clearly see his love for us and we will know that He NEVER gets it wrong. One of the things I loved most that was said in this devotion was this:

“Gratefulness for who God is and all He has done for us can interrupt our preoccupation with ourselves in light of our current situation.” Sue Boldt

I don’t know about you, but far too often when I am going through a really tough time or in a situation that is “long-suffering” my focus tends to become far too inward. It is hard to see past my problems. However, refusing to worry, choosing to start our day with praise and worship even when maybe we don’t feel like it, brings us to the feet of Jesus. When we begin to think of what he has done for us and who he is we can’t help but feeling totally grateful and totally unworthy of his love. We see the beauty of Christ in a way that shines brightly and leaves all those troubles in the shadows.

As I began this devotion, I challenged myself to awake every morning and spend time praising Him and thanking Him for who He is and for all he has done for me. I spent time rehearsing his goodness before I did anything else. As I went through the day and things got tough, I would try to return to that place. Sometimes it meant walking outside to get away from things around me, sometimes, I still allowed the things in my life to overwhelm me, but I pushed on with the help of the Holy Spirit carrying me through. As I looked back over the week before Thanksgiving I noticed a difference. While nothing in my current situation changed, I noticed I had felt more peace than I had in a long time.

Now as thanksgiving is over, I can see what a blessing this time has been. I learned so much and in the end against all odds and in spite of my trials and struggles, I had a wonderful thanksgiving and saw God move in a way that I would not have imagined possible as the week began.

Now the challenge continues, as we head into the Christmas season, what if instead of running from one thing to the next, instead of trying to “make” the perfect Christmas we just stopped. What if we just took time to sit at his feet in worship? What if we remembered that peace is a person and his name is Jesus? Might our focus on the true hope of the world in the midst of chaos bring us the peace we so desperately long for? This holiday season, lets do just that, let’s make spending time at the feet of Jesus a priority. Let’s praise him in gratefulness for the greatest gift we were ever given. Let’s put aside everything else and focus on who we really celebrate at Christmas, Jesus. Then and only then will we find true peace.

The other morning I woke up around 4:00 am. This seems to be happening more and more lately. As I laid there in my bed, I tried to go back to sleep, but as usual my mind started to go to a million different things. Worry began to set in and overwhelm me. My mind went from one thing to the next and when it settled on one problem I started thinking through all the ways I could solve it in my head. We all are feeling the pinch of the economy right now and with winter looming I know I am not the only person worried about the price of heating oil and how to even think of affording heating. I started going over idea after idea, can I buy everyone a space heater, can I try to use my fireplace more and get more wood, should I get a 2nd job. what can I eliminate etc etc etc..on and on for the next hour I went over and over how I could work to solve the problem, finally I was tired and anxious and I just put on some worship music, and started to pray to try and go back to sleep. As the music began to play and I started to pray what came to my mind was…Work harder is NOT the answer, Trust God More is! I got out my pen and quickly wrote this in big letters in my journal.

I shared this with my friends and sisters and over the next few days, we each began to post things about how God was showing us this truth. When times get tough, far too often my first response is how can I fix this? Maybe you’re like that too. I will go over and over solutions and have atleast 3 things in my mind that I will be able to do in any given situation. Too many times, I do this for things that have not even happened yet! (like worrying about heating oil this winter when we are in the middle of summer).

Every time I do this and God reminds me of Who He Is, I say why am I worrying about this?! God has taken care of me and my kids over the past 9 years better than I ever could myself. He has taken care of the big things and the small things. He has often shown up in miraculous ways that seem too incredible to believe. God WILL continue to take care of us.

One of my friends posted this in our group chat:

“…I am the Lord All-powerful. so don’t depend on your own power or strength, but on My Spirit.” Zechariah 4:6 CEV

The answer to my problems, the answer to your problems is the same, it isn’t about what we can do to solve our own problems or how we can work harder to find a solution, it is about learning to trust God more and more with each day and allow Him to lead and guide us. He knows what we need and He already knows what to do. We just need to run to Him and trust Him more.

Life goes through seasons, some good and some bad, and some just seem to be dark. Those dark season can be overpowering. When nothing seems to change in your circumstances. When one bad thing after the other seems to happen. When you are out of energy, out of money, out of ideas and your hope is dwindling fast. Have you been there? Maybe you are there right now.

In those days, in those season it can be hard to hold fast to the truth that we know to be true. When one day of hurt and pain follows another, when your life feels completely out of control. When stress continues to build and no matter how hard you to try to find moments of peace they seem to elude you. What do we do in those times? How do we keep moving forward when darkness seems to surround us?

Well, an interesting thing happened to me this morning. I have been in one of those dark seasons lately, and just when you think things are dark enough, it seems more hurt gets added. After a very, very rough night, I was sitting in my kitchen this morning, listening to some worship music on my phone, running to the only place where we know peace can be found. As I went to my home screen on my phone, I looked at the background picture. It was a picture I took a few weeks back when my boys and I went hiking. I love the picture because the gorge we were in and the angle of the sun above the waterfall almost made it look like light was about to come spilling through the gorge we had hiked through. Then the thought came into my head, there are beautiful days.

One of the traps of the enemy, especially when we are in dark times, is to get us to forget that happiness, joy, beauty exists. He attempts to get us to focus so much on our circumstances that we can no longer see anything else. Tunneling our vision into darkness. But at that moment, when I remembered, there are beautiful days, it reminded me that there is a light at the end of the darkest tunnel. Jesus is there. He walks with us through those dark seasons. He holds our hand and never lets go. A close friend of mine sent Psalm 23 to a group of us moms earlier this week. She reminded that even as we walk in the darkest places, ones where we can’t see at all, He is with us. He is right beside us, holding our hand and HE WON’T LET GO! As the Bible tells us in Romans 8:38-39 “…nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

On the days where all seems dark, light still exists, there are beautiful moments even in those dark times, we just need to remind ourselves of that. We need others in our lives who will come beside us and remind us when we can’t remember ourselves. We need to put ourselves into a position tho hear God speak, through prayer and worship and we need to look at our faith markers. Write down those beautiful times, take pictures, set scripture around your house, memorize it so that in the dark time, when no light seems to be getting through, you mind can bring to its forefront the truth that there are beautiful days, and one day, those days will be every day. That is the hope we have in Christ.

The holiday season has officially begun with Thanksgiving behind us and Christmas just over the horizon. Decorations are in full swing everywhere you look and nighttime drives are filled with the awe of looking at Christmas lights. I know everyone is different when it comes to decorating for Christmas, I myself am strictly an after Thanksgiving decorator. However, this year, I found myself longing to put everything up early. I was also surprised at the number of people I saw putting their trees up in early November. I read post after post of people saying things like, I just felt compelled to put everything up early, or I just couldn’t wait to put stuff up. I thought about why that was. What is it about Christmas decorations that makes us long to put them up and this year more so than years past? As I thought about the past 2 years and all that has transpired in our world, it seems that we are desperate for hope. This pandemic has lingered so long. Just when we think perhaps the end is in sight, it comes back with a vengeance and brings despair once again. So much loss, so much sickness, so much animosity, so much darkness. Christmas brings hope. It brings light into darkness literally and spiritually. Darkness surrounds us this time of year and as we put up those decorations and light them up we feel we are pushing back the darkness just a bit. The spirit of Christmas that often goes dormant during the year rises inside of us and others and our despair seems to lessen.

It was no different 2,000 years ago when in the dark of night, in a dark place during dark times, the light of the world was born. Born into our darkness to shine the light of hope, joy, and peace. Jesus came to end night for us, to end the darkness and bring light that can not be extinguished. I love the way Charles Spurgeon writes of this.

“The coming of Jesus to us, when he does really come into our hearts, takes away the darkness of ignorance, sorrow, carelessness, fear and despair. Our night is ended once for all when we behold God visiting us in Christ Jesus. Our day may cloud over, but night will not return. O, you that are in the blackest midnight, if you can but get a view of Christ, morning will have come for you! There is no light for you elsewhere, believe us in this; but if Jesus be seen by faith, you shall need no candles of human confidence, nor sparks of feelings and impressions: the beholding of Christ shall be the ending of all night for you.” C.H. Spurgeon

This year more than most, we feel the darkness pressing in. It feels oppressive and overwhelming at times. We try our best in our human efforts to push it back, but the truth is only Jesus can light up the darkness.

“The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness can never extinguish it.” John 1:5

Only Jesus shines light that can’t be overcome by the surrounding darkness. In our desperation for hope, we must look to the only one who can truly bring that hope. Christmas decorations are wonderful and they add beauty to the night, but unless they point us to the true light, the true meaning Christmas, they are merely a temporary distraction from the darkness. Look to the light that never gets packed away, look to Jesus and hope will rise as darkness fades. With Jesus, the light of Christmas can be a part of us all year long.

Over the course of the past year, I have been doing a devotional based on the chronological life of Jesus. It is very interesting and very often convicting. Today was one of those convicting days. The story today, was the story of Jesus healing the ten lepers. The story is found in Luke chapter 17. Jesus is on his way to Jerusalem and is traveling to different villages along the way.

¹¹ Now on his way to Jerusalem, Jesus traveled along the border between Samaria and Galilee. ¹² As he was going into a village, ten men who had leprosy met him. They stood at a distance¹³ and called out in a loud voice, “Jesus, Master, have pity on us!”¹⁴ When he saw them, he said, “Go, show yourselves to the priests.” And as they went, they were cleansed.¹⁵ One of them, when he saw he was healed, came back, praising God in a loud voice. ¹⁶ He threw himself at Jesus’ feet and thanked him—and he was a Samaritan.¹⁷ Jesus asked, “Were not all ten cleansed? Where are the other nine? ¹⁸ Has no one returned to give praise to God except this foreigner?” ¹⁹ Then he said to him, “Rise and go; your faith has made you well.”

As I read through these words that I have read so many times before, I thought, how could they not return and say thank you when such an amazing thing had happened to them?

Immediately, I felt the Holy Spirit say, do you go back and say thank you? I then thought about all the times in a day when I cry out to God to help me with something, whether it is to make it to where I am going when my gas tank is low, or to help me have strength to do something that I need to do. Or maybe to find something I need at a store, you get my point. I cry out to God to help me with a million things a day and yet how many times do I take the moment to stop and thank and praise him for those things? How often do I even remember that I asked him to help with a particular thing and realize that he helped me? It was a tough enough realization that I probably don’t do this any where near enough, but the conviction didn’t stop there. I then thought about what do I do when God hasn’t answered something where or when or how I would want? God does more things than I can count for me in a day why is it that I forget to thank him for those things but I am very quick to remember the things I feel he didn’t do? The truth is I am no different most the time than those 9 lepers who did not return to Jesus. I go about my day and while of course I am thankful, how often do I actually stop and take the time to thank him and praise him for all He does for me throughout the day and for all he has done for me throughout my life? Are those things any less incredible than the lepers being healed? No, of course not! Jesus rescued me, He lived for me, He died for me, He rose conquering sin and death and made a way that I could become a daughter of God. What could be more incredible than that! He doesn’t stop there though, He walks with me daily, He rejoices with me, He weeps with me, He carries me when I don’t have the strength to go on. Yet, what do I do? I worry, I complain about the things in may life that he hasn’t changed or fixed or healed etc. I have often said if I put half the time I spend worrying and complaining into praying who knows what would happen?!

Why do I do this? Why is it that I let so much of what is going on around me take over my thoughts and forget how utterly amazing God is? Regardless of why, I know the solution is to more and more remind myself of who God is, to remind myself of the truth of the Gospel moment by moment because sometimes day by day isn’t enough. To allow my faith to rise up. Jesus told the man “rise and go, your faith has made you well“ To remember that above all God is sovereign and He is in control. Regardless of what he does or does not do in any given day, I can say thank you because I know that He is my father who loves me and he knows what’s best.

Lord help me to thank you more and more, help me to focus on all that you have done, are doing, and will continue to do in my life! Increase my faith that I can rise each day knowing that you have done it all! Thank you Lord, there is none like you!

The other morning as I was doing a devotional, a couple of verses from Matthew chapter 12 really caught my attention. The thing that stuck out to me, is that the devotion I was reading used a version of the verses that I had not read before, and I really like the way it put it. It said,

“He will not crush those who are weak, or quench the smallest hope, until He brings full justice with his final victory. And His name will be the hope of the world.” Matthew 12: 11-12

When I read the words “weak” and “smallest hope” they really stuck out to me. Maybe it is because that is how I have felt lately. Weak and like my hope is so small. I thought about the version of the verses above that I was more familiar with, which is a “…a smoldering wick he will not snuff out” Sometimes I feel like my fire is just smoldering, like my hope is so small it is barely there. But as I read those verses, I thought about how Jesus knows me better than anyone and these verses remind us that He will not put out our smoldering fire, He will not drown our small hope. What He will do is rekindle it!! He will bring it back to a full blazing inferno when we cry out to him and give him that little smallest hope.

I think of the man who came to Jesus asking for healing for his child. When Jesus told him all things were possible to him who believed and he cried out:

“Lord, I believe, help my unbelief!” Mark 9:24

When our hope seems so small, when we feel like we are nothing more than smoke without a fire, we cry out, Lord, help! We cry Jesus, I need you! We ask for an increased measure of faith. We bring our small hope to the only one who can make it grow! I love how the end of verse 12 says, and His name will be the hope of the world. Our small hope can be a big hope because our hope is Jesus!

This year of Covid has taken much from people, and because of that, many have little hope. But when our hope feels nearly gone, it is then that we need to remember that our hope is not in what goes on around us, it isn’t in a vaccine, it isn’t in the end of the virus, our hope can be found and rekindled in only one place, that is the arms of Jesus. So let’s take our smallest hope to Him, let’s bring our smoldering wick and ask him to do what only He can do, rekindle the fire of hope within us until it burns bright for all to see.