Looking Back

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Here we are at another November, and for me November often lends itself to a time of looking back.  Soon, the anniversary of the day my whole life changed will be upon me.  Four years ago, on November 26th, my husband walked out the door, leaving my three kids and I in a state of total devastation.  You never think that this kind of thing is going to happen to you until it does.  I remember well those first few weeks and months and the torrent of tears that I cried.  I remember crying out to God with all that I had to fix this.  I remember feeling that I was sitting in the bottom of a deep pit and the light would never shine on me again.

But I also remember God drawing close.  I remember His light shining into that dark pit and realizing that falling in that pit hand land me right where I needed to be, in the arms of Jesus.

A few days ago as I was reading through the book of Isaiah I came across this scripture,

“He tends his flock like a shepherd:  He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart;  he gently leads those that have young.”  Isaiah 40:11

I immediately remembered how God had led me to that scripture not long after my husband had left.  It was funny, because I had read the book of Isaiah many times, but I never remembered reading this verse.  God always has a way of showing us the scriptures we need when we need them.  I remember reading that verse and feeling a peace come over me, knowing that my kids and I were being carried, close to our shepherd’s heart and that He would gently lead me through the  very dark times ahead.

Now, nearly 4 years later I can look back with a sense of awe and just how well God keeps His promises.  Obviously, it has not been an easy road.  There have been many times where I have felt like I just don’t know how I can keep going.  Being a mom is a tough job, being a single-mom isn’t just tough, it makes you question everything about yourself and often makes you feel like the biggest failure around.  However, each step of the way, my faithful savior has been present, carrying my kids and I through the darkest moments, leading me when I can’t see the path ahead, and letting me know that His love for me is more than enough to make up for anything that I have lost.






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