The other day I did something that I rarely do.  I just opened my Bible at random and read a verse.  Normally, I follow a reading plan and a devotion plan so I don’t just open my Bible to a page and read, but this day for some reason I did.  The verse that I came to was:

Proverbs 23:26.

In the MSG translation it says:

“Dear child, I want your full attention;  please do what I show you.“

Well you can bet that got my attention!  I went over and read the NIV and it said:

“My son, give me your heart and let your eyes delight in my ways,”

Now as I read the verses surrounding this verse I came to realize that this statement was one of a father warning his son about the dangers of getting involved with an adulterous woman.

I must say I was perplexed at this.  Why would God want me to read a verse talking about that?  I was the one hurt by the adultery of my spouse.  So I asked God.  I asked what he wanted me to see from this.  His answer was very clear and honestly, a little difficult to hear.

First I felt God was telling me that he wanted my attention on Him, not on my husband, nor on the woman he had left me for, or the woman he is currently with.  I also felt him tell me that He wants me to do what He shows me to do.  What is that exactly?  Well what has God shown me?  Love, patience, sacrifice, forgiveness, kindness, goodness….obviously the list goes on.

Yikes!  Was I doing those things?  Was I showing those things to my children in regards to their father?  I asked God how? How can I do what you show me?  He replied, give me your heart, give me your full attention, keep your eyes on me!  Allow the Holy Spirit to be your guide.

I realized that many of us who have had to deal with adultery spend far too much time focusing our attention on it and especially on the “adulterous woman” We may have even been able to forgive our spouse for what he has done, but it is a whole different story dealing with the woman who invaded your life.    We may think far too much about her, we may allow ourselves to bash and trash her.  The truth is, we often allow this woman to turn us into someone we are not.  I felt like God was reminding me that I need to remember to beware of this.

I took some time to ask God to take my heart, to mold me into what He wants me to be, to stop focusing on the circumstances that I see regarding my husbands current lifestyle and to instead focus my attention on God, giving Him my full attention. The truth is when we do that, it is easier to see our own faults and our own sin, which in turn allows for far less judgement towards our spouse and their significant other.

Don’t get me wrong, I am not saying that what was done to us is ok, or that it wasn’t horrible, because it was horrible, and God sees our pain and holds every tear we have cried. But, we have to remember that God is not only loving and kind, but he is just! We see his love and his justice meet at the cross.  It wasn’t just other peoples sin that Jesus died for it was mine! And as we read in  Romans 12 vs 19, vengeance belongs to the Lord.

“Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord”.

Place your spouse and anyone else involved into the hands of the Lord.  Then, turn your attention to God, give Him your heart, delight in His ways, fix your eyes on Him and then His peace and His presence will consume you and leave no room for bitterness, anger or revenge. He wants my heart,  He wants your heart…give it to Him!