So yesterday I was getting my boys ready to go away for the weekend with their dad. This is the first Father’s Day that they will actually get to spend with him since he left nearly 4 years ago. Each year I try to make sure the kids get a little gift and a card and send it to him, but this year I was getting the stuff ready and packing it in my sons bag so that they could give it to their dad on Father’s Day morning when they woke up. I was getting my daughter to sign the card before I packed it up and then I made a quick note in it just saying “Enjoy your day!”
My daughter turned to me and said “That’s weird. Why would you sign dad’s card? You aren’t even married anymore”
It took me aback for a moment and then I simple told her that no matter if we were married or not, he was still their father. If it wasn’t for him, I wouldn’t have them.
The truth is I may not agree with the things he has done or how he chooses to live his life, but none of that negates the fact that he is the father of my children. I will always carry love in my heart for him because without him, I wouldn’t have the 3 most amazing kids anyone could ask for. Our kids are made up of both of us.
So often times as single-moms I think it is easy to take a day like Father’s Day and look at it from the perspective of all that we have lost. We are angry at our children’s father’s because we see the selfishness in their choices and that anger spills over into a whole lot of hurt and negative emotions about the day. Maybe we need to look at things from a different point of view. Maybe, just maybe, if we looked at Father’s Day as a day to celebrate receiving a great treasure rather than a day of loss, we could approach the day with joy and excitement instead of hurt and dread.
Regardless of what kind of man your children’s father is now, regardless of what he is doing, or how he is living his life, he is still part of the equation to why you get to be the amazing mom you are. Without him, you wouldn’t have your kids. I don’t know about you, but I wouldn’t want to imagine a life without my kids. I love them and am thankful every day that I get to be their mom.
So tomorrow, whether you are spending it with your kids, or they are spending it with their dad, approach the day as a day of celebration for the amazing gift of your children. God chose you to be their mother just as he chose their dad to be their father. God doesn’t make mistakes! Tomorrow fix your eyes on our true perfect Father in heaven, thank Him for the blessing of your children and celebrate the day!!