Yesterday morning I awoke from a bad dream. In the dream, my husband and I were at work together and he was telling me he was leaving me for another woman and serving me with divorce papers. I was shocked and devastated. In the dream I kept asking him not to do this, to please consider what he is doing. I tried to get him to think about the wonderful life we had together, I asked him to get help, to try and work things out, I asked him to think of our children and what this would do to them. He wouldn’t hear of it and in the end of the dream I staring down at divorce papers. When I woke up, all the hurt and pain suddenly came crashing down on me. The dream felt so real, so much like it just happened.
Now this is not exactly how things happened when my husband left, but that hurt and pain was very much how I felt. The devastation of having your spouse of 13 years, suddenly and completely unexpectedly tell you he is leaving you and your 3 children is totally overwhelming.
Of course, that day was nearly 3 years ago and I am not in the same place that I was then. But when I woke up with that horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach, I realized that the hurt was still there, not in the same way it was when it happened, but none the less, it was still there. Kind of like an old injury that acts up every now and then.
The last thing I wanted was to let this hurt take over my day. So I got out my bible and my devotional books and did what I do every morning, spend time with God.
In both devotions that I was doing the theme was God’s presence with us. I was reminded that God is not only with us, He is within us. I was reminded He never leaves us. I was reminded that He goes before us and prepares the way, He walks beside us along the path he has prepared, and he follows behind us so when the hurt and pain of the past try to come after us, we can look back and see Him. I was reminded that He is enough!
It didn’t take long before the gratitude of everything that God has brought me through washed away the hurt of the past. It gave me the perspective to look back and see that although I had this horrible thing happen in my life, God carried me through. It gave me the chance to see God’s faithfulness as I have put my trust in Him to lead me down a path I never expected to walk down.
The enemy wants to keep us walking in darkness, dwelling on the hurt of our past but Jesus tell us that He is the light of the world and that if we follow him we will not walk in darkness.
When Jesus spoke again to the people, he said, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.” John 8:12
I wasn’t happy about the dream, but taking the time to rehearse to myself all that God has done really strengthened my faith. It gave me the courage to remember that I don’t need to know exactly what the future holds, because I know that He is already there getting it ready for me. The path ahead may look dark at times, but if I look to him and follow where he leads I don’t have to worry about walking into darkness because he promises me the light of life.
Don’t allow yourself to be robbed of the amazing future that God has for you by letting the hurt of the past control you. Give your life to Him, follow wherever He leads and keep your eyes fixed on Jesus, then you will never be alone and you will never walk in darkness!